reflections

Yesterday was a holiday. I spent the morning with an old friend, then for the afternoon it was my friend/housemate's birthday celebration. In between I had time for myself. Talking to my old friend I was explaining to her that I considered looking for other work, which had smaller-scale projects -- ones that I enjoy more. As my work now is just at most times boring, I have to admit. Or maybe it's just my wrong frame of mind. Oh I don't know.

But looking for such work would definitely mean longer working hours, a possibility of a more competitive atmosphere, or colleagues that I won't get along with. Of course the third reason doesn't have much bearing. I don't have to be buddies with all my colleagues. There should be at least a few I would like. It's the first two I'm worried about.

But then again, I haven't really checked out other opportunities.

The first lady who was sent to work for this company under the same contract left after the two-year contract. But she had a valid reason. She was getting married to someone based in Australia.

Sometimes I have that crazy idea or wish that I would find someone (or that someone would find me) who would just save me from these decisions.

The topic also came up during the birthday celebration wherein someone commented that we, at our current company, are so loyal. We reasoned that we're already used to the people and the system. That same person mentioned that there was an opening in Malaysia for a higher-paying, but less thought-intensive work. But my friend/housemate/colleague said, where would be the career growth there?

And that leads me to my question. I've always informed people that I'm not a career-oriented person. I don't find that it's a career that would define me. I prefer family, relationships. So does that give me an excuse to not really care where my career is going?

My work now is just a job. I consider it just a paycheck to finance my future goals. And for survival of course. My current job allows me to do sideline jobs, get to leave the office early (for most days), not work weekends or holidays too often. I've even thought some time ago that if all else fails and I still want to stay here, I can just go into marketing or some job that isn't 100% related to my degree that would offer me the same paycheck.

I guess this shows how I am really as a person. People could hate me for wasting such a good opportunity. I'm sorry for that. But can you blame me? Holler if you think there's a flaw in my way of thinking. Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.