what am i doing???
I've been telling myself for the past weeks that I've just bullshitted my way through my day-to-day work life here in my current job. To think I've been with the company for over 2 years now.
I don't believe in the company's design profile. Maybe the company is also bullshitting its way to gain prestige. But who am I to judge? I am no Frank Gehry or Richard Meier. I'm not like others who invest on subscriptions to Architectural Record. Nor do I frequent the website. I think I only visited their website once. I prefer checking out perezhilton.com or eonline.com.
I can't design as easily as the some of the other people in the office. In my worse days I consider myself as one of the weakest links among the architects. I won't be surprised that I would be one of those to go if the company decides to lay-off people. But then again, maybe I would thank them if they do that. Make the decision for me. And also, I guess I will be gone even before they decide to take that step.
How long more can I bullshit my way through?
posted by RT @ 9:40:00 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
i thought you were planning to transfer to some smaller office & concentrate more on residential projects... smaller but more challenging.. more fulfilling
hi rish, earlier on, i wouldn't have expected you to be a person who would use the word bullshit. i guess the older we get, it becomes part of our everyday vocabulary.
tc rish. hope to see you when you're in the phil.
hey... don't worry about your skills. you wouldn't have made it there if you're not good enough. if someone else was there instead of you, it could have been worse.
we share the same sentiments, rish. about me bullshitting everyone, i mean. i've done it through college (i'm not one of the greatest students, i'll admit), and now im doing it in the office.
we all feel as if we're just kidding ourselves (or others). people expect something from us - a level of talent, perhaps, or a certain degree of intelligence - and we have this instinct to prove them right, even if we know that we're not exactly what they expect us to be. it's very tiring, really.
i mean, to be an architect doesn't mean we have to live and breathe it every minute of the day, does it? hehe.
i check out perezhilton.com too. and my architectural record magazines are rarely read (my dad reads it more often than i do).:D
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