glad i'm not a guy

A guy friend of mine who was a former colleague actually revealed his feelings for me over an email. I think at this time I'm grateful to technology that he actually did it through an email, as he just isn't my type. Made replying to him easier.

I just wondered if there wasn't internet access or mobile text messages, then he would have done it face-to-face and I wouldn't have handled it well. I'm just not good in expressing my feelings in an impromptu narrative. So maybe I wouldn't have had the chance to tell him what I felt.

On the other hand... WHAT IF I liked the guy? I would have hated that he revealed his feelings over an email. Would have been points against him.

Guys have it tough really. Glad I'm not one. And I'm not one of those girls who would be doing the pursuing anyway.

But then again, it's also tough waiting.

Anyways back to that guy. It felt really REALLY icky reading cheesy stuff coming from him. Which is quite unfair cuz if he was someone I liked I would have been on top of the world. But it turned out to be the opposite. I found myself just scanning through his email, skipping the gory details.

So as I mentioned, it became easier for me to reply. Since he said those via email, I replied via email. Eye for an eye, right? So I frankly told him how he stood with me. That I don't share the same feelings and that friendship is all he can expect from me. And that things are bound to change after. How pitiful for guys that can jeopardize friendships due to feelings they couldn't help.

So I thought that was the end of it. But no... he emailed me twice more after I replied. He was trying to redeem himself or making me feel guilty or whatever. But basically he just kept going on and on about his feelings, that I don't really know everything written in the emails as I just scanned through them as they were just plain awakward.

I thought my blunt reply was enough to put him on his place. But he actually said that he hoped to ask me out in the future. Stubborn, aren't we?

So my final attempt was to reply to his second email, which plainly said that his emails were starting to make him feel uneasy. And that he should give me time as I just can't handle it. I resisted to write and tell him to just stop.

I tried to be as honest as I could. It's the least I could do. The last time this happened I never gave the guy any closure. I just ran away. Or a better term would be "hid" from him. At least I know a tad better this time that guys deserve your honesty. If they can't deal, sorry.

And please don't say I didn't give him a chance. I did. A few times actually. Even when I didn't want to I listened to some friends of mine who said he deserves a chance. So I gave him two chances. And there just isn't any chemistry. It also didn't help he didn't pay for my meal nor helped me carry my shopping packages (so now can you blame me for not liking him that way?)

I hope I handled it right this time. But what's sad is I think I'm losing a friend because of this. But oh well, I guess that's how life goes. We just move on.