my bubble's burst

I feel like I have been demoted. For one of my projects, one of the two girls with me on it is back from her maternity leave. So I go back to being as silent as a lamb during site meetings, with both of the ladies with me stern. And I'm the nice whom the contractor calls if he needs something to be done without someone answering back to him. And it was nice seeing my name in correspondences, in the addressee. Makes me feel important. For a while my name was one of the two in the letters. Now I'm out of the picture again.

Then the other project, I really don't know. My colleague is due to take her maternity leave by the end of the month. But she still doesn't include me in the meetings that matter. How am I supposed to learn? I asked her this morning if I can join her for the meeting. I thought she said yes. But when meeting time came, she didn't call me anymore.

It could be pretty frustrating at times. Sometimes I feel like, "Wow, I can get used to this. I can actually learn to be like them." But sometimes I feel like I'm quite useless and inefficient.

Now I feel like bingeing :(