corporate rebel

I was telling my cousin that I'm not as responsible as I used to be when I was still in school. I spent my years from grade school to college, used to doing more than my share in groupworks (even most or all of it) -- except of course when I was blessed with equally responsible groupmates.I never missed a deadline. In fact, I usually finish ahead of time. Something I picked up from my parents was to always be punctual. And it pays. During college if I knew I wouldn't be able to submit a spectacular design, I would just submit on time. Design is subjective anyways, time isn't.

But ever since I started working, it's like my drive isn't there anymore. There aren't report cards or class cards to look forward to. But I don't think it was grades that really made me work hard during school. My cousin assured me (or was just trying to me make me feel better) and said that it's quite normal to be less driven when you're stuck in a 9 to 5 job.

Maybe.

But I don't know what should drive me to be as responsible as before. I do finish what I have to do. I think I lack initiative though. Or maybe I just don't know anyone yet to know what I should initiate. (Am I making sense?) I hardly work overtime (something that goes way back in school -- since I pace my work, I get to avoid rushing and doing overnights). I get lazy during the day and sometimes feeling inefficient/ inadeqaute. Therefore I end up surfing the net. (Hence my frequent blogging.)

So what gives?

Is it as sign I'm not happy with work?

Is it a sign I'm not cut out for a 9 to 5 job?

Or is it just a sociological issue shared among corporate employees like me?

Each work day just drags by. I spend each week longing for the weekend. I spend each month, waiting fo my paycheck (Well, I don't really count the days, I'm just aware).

How did people who have endured this for 10, 20, 30, 40 years survive without losing their minds? Did they actually have the passion to stand it?

I think I know now my mission in life... early retirement.