nothing like stress to ruin my diet

I was very proud of myself. Three days straight of having little carbs, having an apple for dinner, and hardly having snacks. Then I exercised every evening, even went swimming aside from the aerobic workout for one day.

Then came my boss to ruin it by assignming me to work on a design competition project due in 10 days. Geez.

Did I ever say I always binged whenever I was stressed, depressed or lonely?

So bam, for the past two days I've been eating enough for the three days that made myself so proud. I have to go back to the groove at least righ after the competition deadline. Or else I'll look disgusting for my cousin's wedding in December.

Anyways, enough about that. Today was quite a hectic day.

From a late night last night since I brought home work, I only got five hours of sleep. I had to get up early since I wanted to practice before my swimming lessons. To make up from missing the session last week.

Maybe I wasn't thinking straight with everything occupying my mind. I almost forgot to put on sunblock. Then I purposely left my handphone since I didn't want to rent a locker at the public pool. Then geez, the clincher was that I left my keys. And of all days my housemates left early.

So going to my swimming lessons and during my lessons, I was playing in my mind the worst scenarios on how I would be able to get myself into the apartment, and being able to go to work (yep, have to work this weekend).

Panic, panic.

Good thing I had my wallet. I only had one number in my wallet and she wasn't answering.

So after my lessons I went straight to my other friend's place to call my housemate. And it turns out my housemates have gone back. So lucky me. I was already prepared to meet them anywhere in Singapore just to borrow their key. Thank goodness they were back to save me from doing that.

So what a way to start the day eh?

The rest of the day wasn't so bad. Was pretty productive when I went to work for a few hours. Afterwards I treated myself to a late lunch (around five already) at a more expensive than usual resto. The food wasn't outstanding though. But it was a complete meal, and the service was good. I would have been as happy if I ate at Carl's Jr. though. Will reserve that for next week :)

i get the worst pick-up lines....

I already wrote in a previous entry about the guy in my condo whose pick-up line, which he tried on me was about my makeup.

Well just yesterday, one of the newer guys in the office -- whom I find quite odd through his outrageous ideas and beliefs -- requested to buy a snack for him in the cafeteria int he basement since he found out I was going down to get something at Delifrance. (I don't usually, and I'm not supposed to snack after lunch but the stress is killing me!)

So when I went back up, it was quite natural that we both sit at the same table at the pantry. I was trying to work, while we were making small talk. I didn't mind the break anyways. Since we were both in the committee for our company's dinner and dance I brought up my latest findings for our door gifts. It's an A5 leather folder, wherein we would have our company name embossed. He asked me if it would be black or red. I told him it would be black. He said, "Good, red would be quite odd. Black or white is good, since they're both classic."

So me, since I'm into those trivias, I told him, "did you ever learn in gradeschool that black is the absence of color and that white is the presence of all colors?"

Apparently, he didn't know that. Geez, he's an architect, how could he not know?

So I told him, "If you get yourself a color wheel, place a pencil through it, then spin it like a top, you would just see white, instead of the six colors of the color wheel."

This amused him.

A while later he left me to continue working (a few of us make the pantry our extension of the our workspace since the view is much nicer.. . we get to see the skyline of Singapore) Before he left totally he looked back and said, "Hey, maybe one of these days we could meet up after office hours and exchange trivia."

Oh dear.

I truly atract the wrong types.

break from a stressful day

My office phone rings.

"This is Raymond, from so-and-so development."

It's one of my obtuse clients.

"Yes, Raymond?" I asked politely. He's been me and my colleague headaches from his being a lousy client.

"Do you know what date we met with the representatives of URA?" (The government agency we need to get a planning permission from.)

"I'll check for you," I told him.

Apparently that wasn't an enough answer for him.

"It's in your diary?"

"I'll check my records," I explained, "then I'll get back to you." I was in the middle of stressing over the design I was working on. I don't have time for your twenty questions!

"Okay," he finally agreed, after dictating his telephone number. Hello, I've called him several times already before.

But I don't blame him. URA didn't approve our design so we had to submit again.

After checking our computer system, I found the day we met with URA. It was late July.

I called their office number. His secretary answered.

"May I speak with Raymond," I said, after introducing myself.

"He's on the line," the secretary said.

Not wanting to call again, I decided to leave the message with the secretary. That's what secretaries are for anyway right?

"Okay, can you just tell him," I started. "'Cos Raymond asked me for a date."

It took me a split second to realize how funny that must have sounded. Asking for a date? Hahahaha.

So I quickly recovered. "He asked me what date we met with URA." Then I told her the exact day.

Oh geez. I've always been bad with impromptu monologues. I should be careful with the things I say. Good thing no one noticed it but myself.

numb

Today is the first birthday of my nephew (my one and only godchild). It's sad that I'm away on such an important day.

My sister just sent me an mms of my nephew's very first haircut. He looked like such a grown boy in his collared polo and his zoolander pose. I miss that boy so much. His birthday party would be this Sunday and all I could do is call them then.

Oh well, the price I have to pay.

Then just a while ago, a friend of mine posted new pics from a recent birthday party. She was a highschool classmate of mine. But now my cousins hang out with her more often. As often as weekly I think. My cousins see more of my old friends that I do. I just wrote to her and said I'll see them all on December. It's just around the corner anyway. At least I have my cousins as my link. Better than nothing.

And as one of my cousins said, I can still catch up when it comes to keeping in touch with friends.

I hope so, I hope so.

keeping quiet

As I look back I realize that there have been several times I kept mum on things that were my fault.

I'm quite guilty actually.

This morning I spilled some of my Milo on the carpet. I didn't know I did, until I saw the auntie cleaning up the stain. Oh dear. I was too distracted (with work, etc) that I didn't really notice when I was walking down the corridor. I shut up. But I felt so bad.

I'm sure that wasn't the only occasion I kept quiet when it was my fault. I don't know why I don't have the guts to own up during these occasions. I don't know if you call them white lies, but I just call them saving my ass.

I'm sorry to all those I bothered with these small faults of mine.

I guess I haven't learned how to be mature about these things.

british speak

This could be quite a duh entry, but I couldn't help but mention. My MS Word is set to the British language (a shift from the American English utilized in the Philippines), and I was quite surprised to discover that the Brits actually spell it as aluminium. I thought they just pronounced aluminum differently. Something new I learned today eh?

Now, I should check if they spell schedule differently. Somehow everyone here says it as she-jul. Hmm...

pin-up

I never had my own bedroom before I moved. So I never really experienced decorating my own room, buying my own furniture, or even changing my own bedsheets. As a little girl I never even had the chance to pin up a photo of Jason Priestly (hahahaha) or whoever else I saw in Big Bopper and Teen Beat.

But now I finally have my own room, change my own sheets, do my own laundry... I couldn't really do much. My flatmates and I could move anytime, so I don't want to stock up on too much furniture (even if I totally need a desk and a wardrobe). I have to make do withthe semi-portable items from IKEA.

Buying clothes, I also hold back (aside from the fact that I don't want to spend too much). And everytime I fly home I bring with me items that I've gotten tired of, or just don't need.

Then bedsheets... I just rotate with my only two sets. I'm just going to use them unless the colors fade from too much washing, then maybe I can fly in a new set.

And as for pin-ups, no, I don't have John Cusack or Chad Michael Murray on my walls. The closest I guess is the brochure of the photo shoot I was part of -- mainly of the gorgeous model I had to stare at. (sigh...)

And above my bed is an A3-sized printout of a house that serves as my inspiration for the house I'm currently designing.

My current room isn't my ideal room, but it should do for now.

small firm, big firm... and of opportunities

I've never really worked in a small firm. But I've always wondered how it would be. Small firms mean small projects... which I prefer really. But small firms may mean more work (since less staff) and less pay.

This irritating officemate of mine (a Filipino) keeps on asking me why I get these sideline jobs and what not. He reasoned that I didn't need the money, and wouldn't I rather spend my time away from the office not work-related?

The money isn't the main reason, but of course it is welcomed. But I grab these opportunities to practice working on these small projects. At least in a way I get to experience the bext of both worlds. But believe me, it could be very taxing. I sometimes miss going out with my friends to work. I work instead of watching the pile of DVDs I borrowed from my friend.

But who could blame me, ever since I got here Carpe Diem has been my motto. I've grabbed every opportunity that came my way. It's like the freedom and independence I obtained from nmoving here made me a madwoman when it comes to opportunities.

But I have no regrets so far. I still can't wait till my designs are finally constructed. Something to call my own.

blogging

I'm not one of those people who announce to the world that I have a blog. I could mention to someone that I have a blog but I don't give them the link or even invite them to view it. Which, I guess is weird of me, since this website could be viewed by just about anyone.

But who would be bored or stalker-material enough to find my blog right?

...Okay, maybe I shouldn't say that. I am underestaimating my charm for the odd ones of the world. Haha.

Yes, I know some of my friends linked me to their blogs. But I think I have it under control so far. For a while I panicked when I found out someone I didn't like so much came across it. But I realized, so what? I didn't really care how he/she would think of it anyways.

I guess I am just aware that there are some entries that if the person involved would see it, I'd be busted. Hehe. I haven't been to conscious about anonimity. Maybe I should especially after I saw in the news that a couple of bloggers were arrested for racist remarks.

Oh well, but otherwise, thanks to all who have been reading my entries no matter how senseless they are! There aren't really much of you, but I do appreciate your reading :)

Cheers!

what's in a name?

I hate it when people call me by my nickname even when we've just met. Maybe I could be such a biyatch. But I can't help it.Who do they think they are? Are we close?

I also cringe when people mispronounce my name. How hard is it to say my name? It sounds like so many other names, but they still say it wrongly. Even if I've corrected them.

Is it too much to ask?

extremes

During this weekend I realized how two guys could be opposites of each other.

GUY #1. One of the guys texted me last week. His girlfriend was in town with her parents. He said we should all meet up for drinks Friday night. But come Friday night my cough got worse during a dinner held by one of our contractors, so I texted him letting him know I lost my voice, and wouldn't be able to meet up with them. He called me up (not paying attention to my message! I told him I had NO VOICE!) So I had to explain to him. He joked, calling me a "Lola" (grandmother). Even if it was just a joke, I don't think it was funny. I can't believe I had a crush on him before. He could be quite a jerk. I should stay clear from guys who try to pressure you into these things. They're no-good guys. I don't want constant drinkers.

GUY #2. The other guy, I met for dinner Saturday evening. He really bores me so I don't know why I still agree to meet up with him occasionally. I guess I'm that bored with life hehe. As I told my friends, he's too polite that he emails me to ask me if he can text me, then he texts me to ask if he can call me. No wonder he's single at his age! But he's a true gentleman. But again, he's too boring. And he's a mama's boy. No thank you.

Two guys -- my cousin, and a friend -- have told me that I shouldn't set my standards too high. The other guy said that I would be choosy now but when I turn thirty I would just grab whoever I see. Well I hope I don't have to wait that long. I don't think my standards are that high. Maybe I get turned off too easily. But I was thinking if I like the guy enough I'll overlook his faults. And as I read once, the girl's opinion was that it's better to set your standards high because you have more chances of ending up with someone that you want. But if you lower yoru standards, you rule out guys who you think is too good for you that you spoil that chance. Makes sense right?

So many people are telling me I don't go out enough to meet new people. The bar isn't the place where I want to meet people. I want to meet them at dinenr parties of common friends, activities, etc. But not the bar, please, unless like me he was just dragged by a friend. It should be him who's a constant clubbing person. Again, no thank you.

But my colleague who's three years older than me (who's getting married next month to a guy she met online three years ago) assured me that I'm still young. I should enjoy being single. She told me she missed that portion of her life. I guess there really are perks for being single.

So till then, I'll try to live my life to the fullest!

fear is a mind killer

This line I would never forget. It was probably fifth or sixth grade when our Language teacher had us memorize this poem and recite it with feelings. Usual grade school activities.

Anyways, this held true for the past two weeks when I started my swimming lessons. Yep, better believe it. I never learned to swim. Was never comfortable dunking my head into the water, and panicked whenever I reach the deep end of the water when my feet doesn't touch the tiled floor anymore.

But after just two sessions of 45 minutes each, I have already learned the breathing technique, (so I could already bring my head below the water) and I could already do floating, and gliding. *bow*

My parents were asking me why I thought of taking swimming lessons. I have several reasons, actually.

1. It's just one of those things in my life that I want to tick. I don't want to regret not ever being able to swim.
2. Being in a foreign land surrounded by countries with world-renowned beaches, I would miss out so much if I skip trips or not maximize vacations because I couldn't swim.
3. Too many people are telling me that I should learn to swim, so I could finally make them shut up. Haha.
4. I could maximize my condo's swimming pool facilities.
5. I have another form of exercise without sweating.
6. For safety, of course. I've been travelling more, so knowing hw to swim would be very useful.
7. I can now apply to be a flight stewardess. Hahahhaa, just kidding.

As I have been telling my parents and friends, I'm a bit arrogant during my lessons because the other student -- an Indian lady older than me -- is more scared than I am.

Sometimes it's all in the mind, really.

maybe i'm getting used to it

It's already the 9th day of September. I remember last year once it hit September I already started downloading Christmas songs to listen to during work. But now, I think I'm too lazy to bring my CD of Christmas songs to upload into my office PC. At the rate I'm going it would be October or November till I do that.

So maybe I don't get that homesick anymore. It was my mom's birthday on the 29th last month, my sister's birthday on the 1st of September, and my brother's on the 7th. I did call them up, cried a bit, but I didn't mope. My dad said it was during family gatherings that they miss me the most.

Maybe I just deal with it by hardening my heart a bit. I convince myself that I'm not missing too much, that I would have been useless if I were there anyway.

The only first-degree aunt I have who spent years in the US (where she met her husband and had her first child) told me that I would enjoy the indepence and freedom of working abroad. Maybe... maybe.

Before I know it I would be flying home for my Christmas break. And those three weeks of vacation will be over before I know it. But I know that the coming months bring promise. Sometimes it's really exciting, thinking what the future has in store for you. I'm sure it won't go the way I'm envisioning it to be. But at least there would always be something to look forward to, ya know?

my bubble's burst

I feel like I have been demoted. For one of my projects, one of the two girls with me on it is back from her maternity leave. So I go back to being as silent as a lamb during site meetings, with both of the ladies with me stern. And I'm the nice whom the contractor calls if he needs something to be done without someone answering back to him. And it was nice seeing my name in correspondences, in the addressee. Makes me feel important. For a while my name was one of the two in the letters. Now I'm out of the picture again.

Then the other project, I really don't know. My colleague is due to take her maternity leave by the end of the month. But she still doesn't include me in the meetings that matter. How am I supposed to learn? I asked her this morning if I can join her for the meeting. I thought she said yes. But when meeting time came, she didn't call me anymore.

It could be pretty frustrating at times. Sometimes I feel like, "Wow, I can get used to this. I can actually learn to be like them." But sometimes I feel like I'm quite useless and inefficient.

Now I feel like bingeing :(

what makes me happy?

It's funny that yesterday when I left the office (on time! woohoo!) I walked out along with one of our MIS guys. (one of those guys who's been part of the company like forever, and is really friendly). He commented, "You seem very happy today."

I was quite surprised with his observation. Where did that come from?

I tried to reflect on what went on during the day to make him think that.

1. I dressed up in my better clothes (Don't you as well have your favorite outfits?) since I thought I would be meeting some people for drinks after work. I decided to back out however since I had work to do.
2. I was able to get out of the office during the morning to take some photos in one of our sites, which is startegically along Orchard Road so I was able to take my sweet time, hehe.
3. I got free lunch because of our Dinner and Dance committee meeting.

That's it. It doesn't seem to be an exceptional day. But work-wise it was not stressful, with just a steady amount of work during the day.

So I could zoom it down on the fact that it was a stress-free day and that I felt like I looked good because of my outfit. So I've decided to treat myself to one piece of clothing from my favorite store per month. That sounds reasonable right? I haven't been feeling good about most of my clothes lately, with just having a few items that I am really comfortable with.

maybe i should just be a waitress...

I've been reading an amusing blog of a waiter, and a theme of several of his entries revolve around home much one should tip a waiter. His bottomline is that 20% of the bill is the way to go.

I remember I was discussing real estate with a couple of people and when they asked me how much an architect charges for his or he services, they were shocked when I told them the standard (although hasn't been followed because of hard times) is 20% of the estimated construction cost.

How different is paying 20% of a restaurant bill for the waiter or waitress who served you, as compared to paying an architect 20% for a structure where you and your family would live for years and years to come?

Donald Trump himself has realized that architects earn peanuts.

I've been working on this residential project and you know how much I'm charging for coming out with schematics? A maximum of 1.5% of the estimated construction cost! Yeah, probably peanuts for my client. But I already struggled to come out with that percentage as a former colleague of mine has even advised me to just charge 0.3%! Gracious!

I know, I'm not yet a master in my field, but one could reason that I would have fresher ideas than one who's been in the business for decades. Clients should go for the creative ones anyways since they have engineers to help out on the technical side of it.

But anyways, I know that this is just the beginning. A happy client could recommend me to his friends and so on. Sometimes you have to establish a name to have the right to charge higher. How sad how our society works.

But till then, I'll just go back being under-paid for my ideas and time.

overtime

I was in the office pantry while my boss was speaking to a group of people -- architects and draftsmen, concerning one project they're working on. Apparently, my boss found the pace of the project pretty slow and according to him he doesn't see some of them after our 6:15pm cut-off. So now he's somehow requiring all of them to do overtime work for the coming weeks.

Maybe I'm guilty in that account because I hardly stay after office hours. I find it a very bad habit. But I find it unfair for my boss to impose such standards. As one guy was saying, he knows he did his part. Isn't that what matters? I think it goes to good leadership. The one handling the project should be able to delineating tasks practically, managing time well. My theory is that if you manage your time well, you wouldn't have to do overtime work at all. I only do overtime work when I really have to, but so far they're just due to bad time management of my colleagues, that it ends up pulling me too.

Maybe Singaporeans have a different culture or way of thinking.

Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm not a good team-player after all.

Guys in the Office

I have a picture of my nephew who's turning 1 on the 20th. I didn't know that it brought about mixed guesses from my colleagues. A few of my officemates though I was married and had a kid. One thought that it was me when I was young (hello, my nephew doesn't look like a girl at all!)

So I told my sister (the mom of my nephew) about it. She kidded me, saying, "Doesn't that scare away possible suitors in the office?"

I joked back, "No one's worth it in the office."

It was last week that I realized that there really isn't anyone with a potential in the office. They're either too short for me, married, or if they're tall they're quite goofy or weird.

Let's take one of the tall guys. Last week he got into a debate with another colleague regarding our upcoming raffle draw to give away a couple of iPods. He was arguing that MP3 players aren't practical because he has a CD player that can play 700Mb CDs that can hold almost 200 songs. He even sent me an email afterwards having ME explain to him the advantages of an iPod. I told him that MP3 players in general (I'm not a big fan of iPods and would rather explore other brands such as Creative, Samsung, Sony, etc) are handy because they're less bulky than CD players, yada yada. I told him maybe since he already had a CD payer he could do without an MP3 player, but as for someone like me, I can't always rely on my laptop to listen to my thousands of MP3s. I woudl then rather buy an MP3 player than a CD player. So enough about that.

Then there's the other tall guy. I don't know if my mind is playing games, but he could be interested in me. Or it is just coincidence every time I catch him looking at me. Anyways, after a company dinner last Friday a few of us hung out in a bar in one hotel along Orchard Road. It was then I realized how goofy he was. Seriously. He dances like my 10-year old cousin. His jokes are sometimes off.

The others, well, they're shorter than me, so I don't really have to talk about them.

Sigh. Oh well, I don't really want to have an architect as my partner anyways, but would have been bnice to have an inspiration in the office eh?

shopping hangover

My weekend was pretty eventful as it started off pretty interesting with the SIA dinner Friday evening. It was a bit blah, but it was nice dressing up for a change. Afterwards a few of us decided to go to a bar along Orchard Road. I think I should stay away from bars if I could. It truly isn't my scene.

I was able to go home by three. And got up at eight to get ready for my first swimming lesson. The lesson turned out better than I epected. When I first got into the pool, I started panicking. "What am I doing here?" But I think I achieved the goal for the first lesson of learning to breathe and to be more comfortable bringing my head down into the water (something I hardly did before Saturday!) So basically I'm quite proud of myself in that account.

Afterwards I went straight to Suntec Convention to go to one Food Expo and one IT expo. Both were a bit boring, as I have attended better ones before. I was also able to hold myself from buying an MP3 player for myself. (Should wait till November) But I decided to go to a Sale Event in one of the conference rooms, tagged as "Branded Fragrance Sale". Sounded harmless, but I should have known it spelled out danger.

When the guy at the entrance was offering me a shopping bag, I was about to shrug him off, but decided to get one anyways. Didn't want to look like a loser haha. (Remembering my trip to a by-invitation makeup sale weeks ago that I ended up buying nothing, as compared to the other girls who had their shopping bags full)

But lo and behold, after an one hour, I had two full shopping bags and quite over a hundred dollars out from my savings account. And there's also the fact I used up half a phone card calling my sister in Manila to ask her what she wanted.

Perfumes were priced 50% to 70% less, I got a new bag for hand carry, more than five bags, a gift for my friend's show NEXT YEAR, and a few accessories. Sophie Kinsella might as well have written about me. And when I went to the cashier the machine wouldn't accept my cash card. What?!? Talk about skipping a heartbeat, but turns out the server was just busy. Phew.

I should veer myself away from these bargains. It's only September, and my luggage is already filled. I don't know how I'll survive the next three months.

run-on

It's less than an hour till I can officially leave the office for the day. It's that certain timeframe wherein if you have completed a particular task it's a bit too late to start something new (unless you're a sadist which I'm so not) or too pissed if someone gives you a new task.

Just some random thoughts this afternoon.

1. I finally finished watching the second season of the o.c. Quite a dramatic ending. I think it was the first episode that I actually found Mischa Barton pretty. And Ryan looked weird while his brother was squeezing his neck to death.

2. Someone sent me the sex video of Jenna (from Survivor). Quite sick really. Or it's just me. Rather not comment.

3. It's fun making wish lists as two colleagues and I made a list of the possible prizes for our annual Dinner and Dance. We included an iPodo Photo, a Tungsten, spa and slimming treatment, a 3-in-1 printer, a digital camera, and air tickets, to name a few. I never win in these things. But what the heck, I'll just keep on crossing my fingers. Also it's funny how corporate gift suppliers come up with these unique items. I've been canvassing for door gifts and I discovered that there's such a thing as a shower radio -- one of those radios that has the usction thingies to cling to the tiles. Then there's this USB cup warmer. Something you actually plug into your laptop or CPU to warm your tea or coffee while working. Amazing.

4. Singaporeans don't have a good sense of dressing. Several of us architects from the company will be attending an annual function tomorrow. The invite said "formal". My colleague warned me that "formal" fo Singaporeans isn't the same as what I think it should be. She may be right. When I attended my colleague's post-wedding get-together. I kind of dressed up -- just jeans but I matched it with a more dressy blouse and my pointy black shoes. And I think I was over-dressed that evening comparing to the casual get-up of the others. Oh well, Me and a few colleagues -- ladies -- just thought of dressing up a bit tomorrow.

5. Funny that when I logged in to my yahoo messenger last night, I got offline messages from two guys from my past. Haha. I don't know what sign that is. But I've decided to be invisible from them since months ago. Tough luck for them. Haha.

6. I'm starting my swimming lessons this Saturday. Good luck to me! The lady coach seemed nice enough on the phone. But when I saw her picture in the website she looked quite butch. Oh well, good luck to me on that one too.

7. I'm just realizing how much a client could change his mind. I need some more patience in dealing with the endless revisions to my design.

8. A couple of colleagues were asking me why I don't go to the Middle East where there's more money, so I could save more. Told them it would be too boring, and I would be too lonely. Remind me that if I get any offer from there.

Okay that's a lucky 8. But I'm so glad it's already Friday tomorrow! Woohoo! And I am looking forward to the dinner event we're attending tomorrow. Should be a nice way to start off the weekend. I'll also be checking out the IT and food expo going on this weekend. Can't wait!