Christmas wishlist!

I know! October just ended. But it's just 35 days before I fly home. It's coming so quickly! And they're already starting to put up the Christmas decors along Orchard road. Got a bit sentimental seeing them.

Anyway -- friends, stalkers and what not, if you're sweet enough to get me something this Christmas, let me help you a bit. I still have a few minutes left to waste so allow me. Promise, I tried to be as realistic as possible. ;)

Here's my list for now. I kept it at ten. :)

1. A strong foldable umbrella - something that I shouldn't take for granted. I've destroyed at least four I think in my stay here.
2. A body scrub - totally have no idea how much one costs. But my tan from my swimming lessons is disgusting! I used to think it wasn't possible for me to grow dark. But ever since college, my skin has been getting darker and darker. Ugh.
3. Phone casing for my 6610i. Mine's battered already. Poor one. I don't mind black, pink, blue or white. Something that suits me, okay?
5. Boxing gloves. If you're generous enough, the punching bag as well. Haha. So I my kickboxing workout would be more effective.
6. Pilates/ yoga mat. Should suit well with our new place.
7. Robert Powell's SCDA Architects book. Yeah, I know it costs quite a bit.
8. 256MB or more thumb drive. My 128Mb one isn't enough.
9. Gift certificate from Shopwise or SM or Mercury Drug (haha, don't ask why)
10. Sponsoring of my shopping spree at the ukay-ukay when I fly home. Come on! It's just the ukay-ukay! How much could it be? :P

P.S. Belated Happy Halloween everyone! I swear, I don't think this country doesn't even know halloween exists, except for some pumpkins in the grocery. How corny. I want my trick or treating!

P.P.S My prayers for my departed loved ones.

the search is over

No, I'm not singing the Survivor hit. But finally, my housemates and I found a condo unit to transfer to... right in our own condominium! I was actually hoping to find one within the same development due to accessibility and what not. I don't know about my housemates. They kind of wanted something new but I bet they were still hoping it would be the same.

The tiring phase of viewing units available are over. No more pesky agents calling me.

Just the hassle of moving, but at least we minimized the distance and do not have to get movers!

It should be fun starting off in a clean slate (literally?)

dealing with big-time architects

I guess the perks of working in a large firm is that you get exposed to bigger-scaled projects (even if you aren't into them haha). More of the prestige, I guess.

In one of my shittier projects I have been coordinating with our design consultant, Kohn Pedersen Fox Architects and have been emailing with one of their senior associates. How cool is that? But it's quite nerve-wracking thinking if I'm emailing him the right thing and all that.

I guess while I'm here I could enjoy that. It would be a nice story to tell the kids right?

interior designer for the day

Actually, more of for a couple of hours. Last minute my pregnant colleague had me go to a meeting for a small project I'm taking over while she's on maternity leave. Which could be tomorrow or next week. Yes, her water is about to break, haha.

So off I went to the client's posh office as she explained to me the changes she wanted made for the toilet renovation. I thought I was just there as a sound board to absorb all the changes she made, but the client is nice (so far) and was asking me what my opinions were. She's a designer for the developing company so she knew what she was talking about. But it felt good that she was listening to my opinions, and whenever I raised some issues.

She then brought me to their newly renovated toilets in the podium level where the retail shops were. I think it's one of the best toilets I've been to in a mall. She asked me if I frequented the mall, I honestly said no. Haha. So she gave me a quick tour of their tenants (Cute guy alert in one surgical office!) and I told her yes, I'll visit more often. BS! But then, maybe I should visit the surgical office hahaha.

So for a couple of hours I experienced the sophisticated part of my profession. And it's not bad at all.

Spa Virgin

Last Friday was the very first time I visited a spa. (And it was free, so I wouldn't have gone if I paid haha). I was supposed to have a full body treatment/ massage but nature didn't agree, so ended up just having a facial. It felt good alright, but the treatment costs (if I paid) around 5000 pesos! Geez! Totally not worth it. Less than an hour of bliss. It would have already been a big chunk of a flight home.

So now I realize I would only enjoy that lap of luxury fi it were free!

independence vs. loneliness

I remember when my parents first announced to my relatives that I would be working abroad. One of my aunts, who was based in the US for several years, said that I would enjoy the freedom.

My friend (more of just an acquaintance and occasional chat friend hehe) observed that it seemed like I am enjoying the indepence more than the loneliness gets to me. I told him I feel that way sometimes, but the other times it's the other way around.

It's always been my theory that you need to be a certain level of hermit to survive here. I've always been one. But I always had my family there for me when I was too bored.

I know this is the best time to learn more about myself. And maybe develop into a better person. I admit that my character development is not all positive. I have my selfish tendencies. I still have to work on that one. And there's my lazy tendencies, as I previously wrote about.

But as this girl told me said, I'll find that perfect blend of my old and new home. Although, I don't find Singapore as home. (maybe not yet?) I find it as a transition place. Lead me to where I really belong.

corporate rebel

I was telling my cousin that I'm not as responsible as I used to be when I was still in school. I spent my years from grade school to college, used to doing more than my share in groupworks (even most or all of it) -- except of course when I was blessed with equally responsible groupmates.I never missed a deadline. In fact, I usually finish ahead of time. Something I picked up from my parents was to always be punctual. And it pays. During college if I knew I wouldn't be able to submit a spectacular design, I would just submit on time. Design is subjective anyways, time isn't.

But ever since I started working, it's like my drive isn't there anymore. There aren't report cards or class cards to look forward to. But I don't think it was grades that really made me work hard during school. My cousin assured me (or was just trying to me make me feel better) and said that it's quite normal to be less driven when you're stuck in a 9 to 5 job.

Maybe.

But I don't know what should drive me to be as responsible as before. I do finish what I have to do. I think I lack initiative though. Or maybe I just don't know anyone yet to know what I should initiate. (Am I making sense?) I hardly work overtime (something that goes way back in school -- since I pace my work, I get to avoid rushing and doing overnights). I get lazy during the day and sometimes feeling inefficient/ inadeqaute. Therefore I end up surfing the net. (Hence my frequent blogging.)

So what gives?

Is it as sign I'm not happy with work?

Is it a sign I'm not cut out for a 9 to 5 job?

Or is it just a sociological issue shared among corporate employees like me?

Each work day just drags by. I spend each week longing for the weekend. I spend each month, waiting fo my paycheck (Well, I don't really count the days, I'm just aware).

How did people who have endured this for 10, 20, 30, 40 years survive without losing their minds? Did they actually have the passion to stand it?

I think I know now my mission in life... early retirement.

victim of internet addiction

I admit that I'm an internet addict. I guess because it's become my best friend during boring workdays. I don't feel right when I don't get to connect to the server. I need to check my mail. I need to sms my family and friends. I need to see who's online.

Internet-aholics Anonymous, ready to take me in?

singlehood has its perks

Last night, some friends/ colleagues and I attended a charity gala, with the president as the honourable guest. A reason to dress up it was, that's why I decided to go. (And you don't come across a thousand-dollar meal for free anytime!)

My friend decided to bring along her boyfriend last minute. He did meet us there. But felt out of place for just wearing a short-sleeved polo. It was a lounge suit/ evening dress affair. Really, none of us cared what he wore. I personally thought he was dressed fine. I guess guys could have their insecurities some time too.

So to make a long story short, my friend and her boyfriend ended up leaving just as the event was about to kick-off. A petty quarrel. Well, they missed a good dinner and some good freebies.

Less than 24 hours later, just a few minutes ago, my friend was sent a bouquet of flowers. And all's forgiven.

For a second there I was envious since I had no one to send me flowers for any occasion at all. But then again, at least I had no one to make me miss a dinner out with friends.

So let me celebrate being single for this minute. Let me relish it before I go back to thinking I'm lonely.

rainy days

I miss school days missed because of typhoons. Selfish of me, I know, since strong typhoons mean people suffering. But on this rainy afternoon with an hour left of work, I couldn't help but miss those last-minute school "holidays".

I loved it when they cancelled school in time for us to watch the NBA playoffs.

I loved it that my mom would cook champorado for breakfast (We already had breakfast before "going to school and finding out school was cancelled but who cares? Champorado is the perfect match for a rainy morning!)

I loved it when my dad would go all the way to Ma Mon Luk (is that how you spell it?) to get its ever-famous mami and siopao.

I loved having my afternoon naps. Sometimes the rainy season is more conducive for sleeping than air-conditioning!

Its funny that there was so much chaos at school whenever school gets cancelled. What's one day of school anyways? Of course they're thinking of those who live farther away, and might get stranded. (They're already out of their house so they ARE already stranded!) But the memories, darn, I wish I could have those days again!

am i a bore?

Maybe I am.

Two people have kiddingly told me that I'm "baduy" (corny) or a "lola" (grandma) since they have a hard time inviting me out for drinks or what not. I don't know if I should take the saying, "Jokes are half meant" seriously. But I couldn't help but wonder.

In fairness, the guy called me "lola" when I backed out from meeting them when I lost my voice. So I had a valid reason. Maybe he's just being a jerk.

The second guy was telling me I should join them in their drinking sessions when I fly home Christmas. I told him I wouldn't be drinking much so he called me "baduy".

Maybe these are just people who have poor sense of humor or are just jerks, and aren't really my type of friends.

That's another matter. Many of my friends are into a lifestyle which isn't what I am into. I don't want to force myself to join them just to be able to "catch up" with them. Maybe it won't be worth it.

Drunken conversations do not build lasting relationships. Talks over dinner or coffee are.

Unless someone proves me otherwise.

Reviews 3

Woah, after just one week here I am again with my reviews :) (will show you how bored I was during the week)

I spent the evenings this week watching movies so here you go!

#1 The Prince and Me
Category: Movie

I always look out for these chick flicks. So finally Monday night I watched this Julia Stiles starrer. It had a bland plot, lack of conflict. As my cousin said, it's like a Pinoy movie. But the main leads made up for it. I just love Julia Stiles for her being so simple and the guy is so cute! Love his accent. Still a fun watch nevertheless, with great snapshots of Denmark.

Rating: 3 1/2 stars


#2 The Dukes of Hazzard
Category: Movie

I expected much more from this movie. With Sean William Scott in it, I expected it to be as fun and goofy as Road Trip. Guess not. I was even sidetracked for some bits of the movie. That's it, have nothing else to say.

Rating: 1 1/2 stars


#3 The 40-Year Old Virgin
Category: Movie

This is much, much better than the Dukes of Hazzard. I don't know where else Steve Carrell starred in, but he's a funny dude. Quite natural. Several funny moments, and the ending is hilarious! Not the best movie of all time, but something to amuse you for a couple of hours.

Rating: 4 stars

i would have hated monk if he were my colleague

Monk was one of the shows I watched during my ol' cable television days. It was a fun watch, feeling like Monk's an older version of Encyclopedia Brown.

Anyways, I think there should be a limit to obsessive compulsiveness (is that the noun version or did I just make it up?) Being OC almost goes hand in hand in becoming a nagger.

I was quite irritated with my colleague this afternoon when she pointed out to be in a haughty manner that when I log in the correspondences I send out my initials should be in all caps, as only the secretaries should use the small letters. So with her being one of the semi-superior people in the office (dunno if her ultra-short skirts landed her the position) I said "okay". But when I checked the logs, I saw that my other colleague involved in it used small letters! Argh! Just because I'm just an architectural assistant she can bully me?

Spare me the bitchiness, girl.

future goal

When I grow up, I want to be... a housewife.

Yes, and I think I'm sure. Wait, I believe I'm serious.

So if that does happen and I complain about being bored, send me this link. But I doubt I would be bored. I'd rather have that than be bored at work.

I think I'm pretty good in pre-occupying myself when I'm bored.

When I was a kid, I would pay Monopoly on my own if I was bored senseless. You know how it works? I play against the bank. Every time I fall on a property I've already bought, the bank would pay me. Hahaha. I don't know the logic of it. I guess when I was a kid I was dead et on becoming rich. Hehe.

I'm sure I did other weird stuff to keep me busy but I can't recall them now.

So maybe once I'm a housewife I can come up with more productive things. It won't be sobad, really.

stressing over moving

My flatmates and I are being evicted. Haha. The unit's owner has given us our two-month's notice to look for a new place. And to think I was already set in staying there and renewing our contract with them.

But tough luck. I'm really hoping that we still find a unit in the same development. But I haven't found one so far. I've contacting agents and searching the net, but nothing seems right (of course since our budget isn't so high) A government housing unit isn't even in our choices.

And employing an agent doesn't come cheap, as we have to pay them at least half a month's rent if they find something we like. Geez.

The cheaper ones are the walk-up apartments that don't always have seurity, and no pool. Just when I'm learning to swim.

Oh well, good luck to us. I'll just pray we get lucky enough to get a place as good as our current one.

Reviews 2

I've been able to relax a bit during the weekend and I was able to watch several stuff, tried new food, etc.

So on this lazy Monday morning, I'm going to have my reviews again!

#1 A Love Story in Harvard
Category: Drama Series

Okay, I'm one of those who watch the Asian drama series. Aside from the universal Meteor Garden, I watched a few other series, mostly Korean, care of my sister. Whenever I fly home I load in a series or two into my laptop. When you're bored or feel like bumming, it's quite a welcome you know?

Anyways, A Love Story in Harvard was highly recommended by my mom (Yep, she's into those too!). And anyways, I think I was a bit disappointed. The male lead actor is a really good one, but the rest seemed pathetic. The female lead lacked emotion, the male villain (one of) just kept on crying. Hello? But nevertheless the series showed me how prestigious it would be to study in Harvard! But I should stop with my fantasy. I don't want to study anymore, haha.

But it's okay, the series kept me busy for a few days.

Rating: 3 stars


#2 Mamma Lucia
Category: Food

My girl friends and I decided to have a girls' night out Saturday night (to appease myself after a hellish two weeks and having to come to work on a Saturday for a presentation) so we treated ourselves to more-expensive-than-usual meal at Mamma Lucia at Robertson Walk. It is one of those rustic Italian places (they also serve Brazilian food) that had dozens of types of pasta. The appetizers was good, the carpaccio was excellent, my cannelloni was dripping with cheese (mmm....) and my friends were happy with their dessert (Yes, be proud of me. I was able to resist ordering a Panacotta) Despite the pricey items, it was darn good. We even splurged on a bottle of wine to go with the meal.

Rating: 4 1/2 stars


#3 Cafe Iguana
Category: Bar

After our Italian dinner, we headed to Clarke Quay and had some drinks at Cafe Iguana. I was disappointed they didn't have my usuals of Malibu or Cointreau, but we were happy enough with our jug of Marharita that only cost less than 16 bucks! I don't know if it was the happy hour or something, but it was quite a good deal. The ambience was alright. Typical open-air bar, with an entertainment of drunken foreigners taking their shirts off, haha.

Rating: 3 stars


#4 Grosse Point Blank
Category: Movie

Except for going to mass, I decided to stay back the whole day. After finishing my Korean series, I decided to watch this 1990's John Cusack starrer. One of those with the intelligent dialogue, but it was enough for me to just watch John Cusack. He and his sister Joan make just a great tandem. I was never a Minnie Driver fan though.

Rating: 3 stars

#5 House of Wax
Category: Movie

Really gory. I'm just glad Chad Michael Murray remained alive and that Paris Hilton died.

Rating: 2 1/2 stars

#6 Sarpino's Pizza
Category: Food

My housemate shared with me her leftover pizza delivery from Saturday. Instead of the usual Pizza Hut or Canadian Pizza, she tried Sarpino's from East Coast I think. The pizza was really good -- lots of meat, reminds me of Tahanan Village's Brooklyn Pizza, Pork-o flavor. Yummm... The pasta wasn't so great though, as well as the garlic bread.

Rating: 3 1/2 stars

Well that's all for now. I should have more lined up for the next, since I've acquired The Dukes of Hazzard, The Prince and Me, Monster in Law, Supersize Me, and a couple more!

aftermath

First of, I'd like to thank my friends who cared enough to contact me after reading my previous post about my moment of depression. Thanks, guys, truly appreciate it. And I realize who my true friends are.

I generally feel better, yet there are still times that it creeps up and I feel sad. But I try to get rid of that feeling as fast as it comes. It's tough. But that's the way it should be. My theory is that for someone in my situation you have to learn to detach your emotions sometimes.

At least there were several stuff that kept me occupied during the week. To try to forget. Try to ease the heavy feeling.

There are still some things that bother me though. I have this feeling that my relationship with one of my friends is slowly deteriorating. Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh. I just feel we're drifting apart. Reading my friend's emails make me feel worse instead of the opposite. Does true friendship mean I should overlook those?

I'm one of those people who's never had a best friend. Maybe I have always been a loner in a sense. Maybe I never learned how to be a good friend. Maybe I still have time to learn. Just that I feel selfish sometimes, feeling bad when I realize that I value someone more than he or she values me. Maybe my definition of friendship is all screwed up.

I just have so much to learn still.

immigration decided for me

Ever since last week, I was having second thoughts about staying longer than my two-year contract here. I was thinking if the occasional emotional baggage was worth it. But I realized that no matter where I would be, there would be problems. I don't think coming home would safeguard me from that. You get hurt, you get depressed. But you just move on.

But my mail this morning was maybe my sign. My application for permanent residence was approved, and I totally didn't expect it. It came almost a month late (approval usually takes three weeks to a month, even if they alot three months for the processing).

So what does this mean? I'm bound to my company for another two years. Which isn't so bad if I decide to leave before then, as the penalty isn't a big amount.

Anyways, I'll just try my best to fly home as often as I could.

If you don’t want to get depressed maybe you shouldn’t read this. This is just my last resort for today, since I need an outlet for all my thoughts.

I might be revealing a lot of what I feel right now, maybe something that I’ve avoided during my past entries. Maybe a while later if I feel better I can just choose to delete this entry.

Today has been one of the loneliest days of my life.

Maybe an exaggeration. But it feels like it.

The headline, or the top reason why is because I found out yesterday that my cousin got into an accident. Let’s just say he might face serious charges for it. This is one of my cousins I’m closer to. I really can’t imagine what is going on.

It is just so frustrating to be away from the people who really matter to you. My sympathy is different, with me being away from all of them. Just like when my grandfather died. I wasn’t there to mourn with my family. I was just crying in the office when I read my cousin’s account of the day he died.

I felt inadequate.

And with this news about my cousin. The shock is definitely there, but I don’t know how else to react. I didn’t even call my parents to ask for the details. I really don’t know why. I could blame it on the deadline I had to meet at work. I could blame that I was too tired for working late all week. Who knows what the real reason is? I tried asking my sister, but she hasn’t responded. I don’t know if I should try contacting the sister of that cousin, who I’m close to, but I really wouldn’t know what to say.

I pray, I pray.

The lady beside me during mass this evening must have thought I was crazy crying during the mass.

I told my parents we could talk online tonight but they were busy since my other grandfather was sleeping over with them. My sister still hasn’t responded. My friends aren’t available.

I pray for my cousin. I pray that he would remain strong. He is such a good guy. I was thinking during mass that he was being punished not for his faults, but for mine.

I spent most of today normally but I felt guilty. Back home they should all be worried, and praying so hard.

But as I said, I’m out of touch. I could just cry and pray for what has happened and what could happen. I wish it were simpler to go home.

I guess it also doesn’t help that I’ve been stressed with work, and that I found out I hurt my friend.

Basically, it has been a shitty day.

I pray that God gives us all strength.